land-family.co.uk

Tom does skiing

2012-01-14T22:49:00.001Z

Today we were so proud of Tom. In preparation for the ski trip next month we trudged down to MKs snow dome at silly o'clock.

I was especially proud when he jumped the queue in his class as the other kids were not fast enough and straight lined it. Son like father.

Any way here is a pre ski photo.

More family pics from July 2011

2011-07-14T09:41:00.004+01:00

Here are just a few more photos that I like...

Arhhh....

This was the goodbye to the old house dance...

And an early picture of Abi as a hoodie...

Beauty dressed up for Greg's wedding

2011-05-14T09:25:00.000+01:00

Abi day 17

2011-05-09T23:50:00.001+01:00

Just a cute quick picture.

Tom in Abigail's first fortnight

2011-05-05T13:12:00.005+01:00

Here are just a few more pictures from the first fortnight.

Here are some very early pictures of Abi being held by her older brother.

The bestest son has been treated like a Prince in the last 2 weeks and spoilt rotten. The little lad has had many, oh so many people to play with and definately has not been hard done by.

Here are some photos of Tom in all his glory. This pic is at the top of the slide in Kingston/Hampton park.

We took a trip out to Battersea childrens zoo, and here is proof that I do actually lug the kids around.

Here is the boy in the Meerkats tunnel.

And here is a full action shot jumping into the paddling pool in the garden.

We will put up more pics when we download from the proper camera.

Tom does the skatepark

2011-04-23T21:04:00.002+01:00

So proud. Took Tom to the park and he wanted to go on the skatepark section. He took on the bigger boys and hustled them in some faki-airs and kick-flips. Oh so proud, 3 and half, going on 13.

Welcome Abigail

2011-04-23T20:34:00.004+01:00

Abigail Caroline joined up at 2.17am on the 22nd April 2011. A perfect little princess. More photos to come in the coming days I am sure.

Don't worry they are mini cakes on a side plate!

Been a while - back again

2011-04-23T20:30:00.002+01:00

Its been while since we last posted, but this week seems a good a time as any to start again.

Here is a quick photo of Tom being cheeky and seeking out cakes.

Spinning around in the garden

2010-08-13T08:37:00.001+01:00

If you have been in the house all week with a sickly-Chickenpox ridden son, the cabin fever can kick in. Here is a good way to spend a few seconds to get a laugh.

All you need is a sense of adventure and a washing basket!

Tom's laughing toy monkey

2010-08-13T08:28:00.002+01:00

Not sure if this even needs an intro......

Makes me laugh every time

Tom at Halloween

2009-10-30T17:06:00.002Z

He looks so grumpy because his Mum made him wear it! Ha ha ha. He just looks so cute!

Tom has OCD with his crayons

2009-09-03T13:05:00.002+01:00

Doing this all on my phone. Will embed properly when on a computer.

Anyway check out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y73TUwRlRWw

Tom with his eggy soldiers

2009-09-01T21:21:00.001+01:00

The video speaks for itself. He loves to dunk his soldiers in a runny egg!!

Tom the Lion

2009-08-28T08:58:00.003+01:00

What do you dress your son in when it is international day at his nursery. So, through pride and a lack of any other imagination, he went as a fully signed up, flag carrying British citizen.

Arh, what a cutie...

Tom the Carnivore

2009-08-03T20:52:00.001+01:00

With his chops around a BBQ rib...

Grandma's 60th

2009-08-03T20:47:00.005+01:00

For Grandma's 60th the whole family went en-masse to North Wales. We had a lovely time playing in the pool, visiting the local castle and eating ice-cream on the beach (albeit with Thomas wearing his wellies as he refused to go barefoot on the sand...)

Tom's photoshoot June 2009

2009-07-05T21:39:00.006+01:00

For Grandad's and Granny O's significant birthdays Tom agreed to star in a few photographs. Here are some proofs, while we wait for the real photos to arrive.

Our new garden

2009-06-25T10:58:00.004+01:00

Thank you Nanna Rose and Chiefy-pops for coming down last weekend and helping us dig over, prepare and plant our garden. We have been putting this off since the end of last year. Apart from having to water it ever night, it has been great using the garden everyday.

Here are just a few photos of Tom enjoying the garden last night.

Wembley June 2009

2009-06-25T10:52:00.004+01:00

The other week a few of us went to the New Wembley for the England, Andorra game.

The stadium was excellent, and the result was in our favour.

Here is the famour arch on the approach coming down Olympic Way.

And despite our seating being up high, we had a video game style view of the game. Here is the view from our seats.

Random Tom

2009-06-25T10:50:00.003+01:00

The other week before one of the Lions games Tom was running around in his supporters kit and found my motorbike gloves. Just took this pic and thought I would share.

Cousin Isla's 2nd birthday

2009-06-24T16:08:00.004+01:00

At the end of May cousin Isla turned a massive 2 years old. She graciously invite her family and friends around for a party and bbq.

She had many friends around but had time to bounce with our Tom.

Even when Uncle Andrew was having a lie down, it didn't stop them.

It was a hot day and ice-cream was enjoyed by all.

And like all good b'day parties there was a cake.

And like all b'day parties, Isla had to spend time opening all of her prezzies.

And just a couple more recent ones

2009-06-04T21:40:00.004+01:00

Mummy finally plucks up the courage to let Thomas loose in the house with paints...

Playing in the ball pit in the lovely new garden.

New Forest Part II

2009-06-04T21:36:00.004+01:00

The daddies reading a bedtime story...who is more enthralled???

One day Adrian and Gary went sea-fishing and didn't do too bad...

Whilst mummy and Tom went cycling...the excitement of it all was just too much

Lauren seeing "if Thomas likes butter"

The New Forest Getaway

2009-06-04T21:30:00.004+01:00

Over the bank holiday week we went to the New Forest with some of Claire's old university housemates on our annual reunion. Alas, we were one couple and two kids down, but there were still 8 adults and 6 kids in one very large house. Here are some photos....

First up, all the kids: Ethan; Tom; Lauren; Izzy; Sophie & Matthew

Sophie and Tom enjoying an ice cream at the seaside

We went to farm park...here is Tom helping to feed the lambs

And having fun with mummy on a slide that was far too big for him really...

And looking a bit confused on the surfboard photo opportunity!

A model pout?

2009-05-14T21:46:00.002+01:00

...obviously learnt from Granddad!

I'm forever blowing bubbles

2009-05-03T20:26:00.006+01:00

Here is Tom understanding the joy of a 99p tub of washing up liquid....

And a short movie of all the excitement

Tom's new playroom

2009-04-28T20:53:00.004+01:00

In true toddler style, more space was needed. So, "we" built Tom a new playroom. With some small help from the builders. Tom wanted to show willing and got involved and used his extensive experience as forman. He was always safe wearing his hard hard and kept his tools in good order.

Once the room was ready, he allowed his Mum in to see how he had set up his train set.

Some perspective on the situation.

The new windowsill needed some accessories and with his new skills of interior design he decided to add multicoloured plastic objects.

His next building project is a patio and decking. Then Tom the builder will become Tom the BBQ chef.

Tom just looking cool

2009-04-28T20:49:00.004+01:00

No real reason for this post except he looks so cool in his new glasses. And when he decides to ride the bouncy "thing" in the park, he does it with style. Definately his fathers son!

A weekend with Uncle Paul

2009-03-23T21:48:00.003Z

Last weekend Uncle Paul visited and given the sunny weather we took a trip out to Hampton Court. Our aim was to take Thomas into the maze....but first of all there were numerous benches that Tom wanted to sit on....

And then lots of Daffodils to ohh and ahh at....

And finally we got to the maze and then there were lots of bushes to poke at...

And then when we (finally) got out of the maze we found the best thing of all - a doggy!

And the abandoned boy....

2009-02-26T22:18:00.004Z

......did at least get some Yankee clobber as a result of the trip! Here he is strutting his stuff on the Millwood Road catwalk.

New York in February

2009-02-26T21:54:00.005Z

We escaped. Granny-O was installed and we jumped on a jet plane. We decided to pop to New York for a few days of R and R. We had our walking boots on and decided to see how much of New York we could see in a few days. Here are a few photographs from the trip.

We arrived on Thursday afternoon and got straight out there. Our first stop was the Empire State Building. It has got to be said that it was a) Cold and b) Windy ! From the viewing gallery on the 86th floor you can see the whole of Manhattan, New Jersey, Queens and Brooklyn.

As you can see, its pretty high! If you are afraid of heights - DON'T LOOK DOWN!!

After this windswept experience we went on terra firma and saw the bright lights. This photo is one of many from Times Square. It was definately colourful; on many buildings. It did make Picadilly look a bit tame.

On Thursday night we had dinner in a train station! Grand Central Station. This is no ordinary station, it is an impressively large art deco building. On the lower ground there is a restaurant called the Oyster Bar. You should check it out if you are near by - they had a huge menu of fresh seafood.

Saturday AM, we got back out on the streets. We meandered up to Central park and did the tourist thing with a horse drawn cart.

We walked through the park via the Lennon memorial and went to the natural history museum, specifically to see the planetarium. We were very impressed with the Rose Center imax show and would recemmend you take a look.

Saturday night we went to Madison Square Garden to see the New York Knicks take on Toronto. It is amazing how 4, 12 minute quarters takes 2 1/2 hours!! It was a great spectackle and should be done once.

On Saturday we started off early and tackled the metro. Eventually we managed to get across to Booklyn. And after a few wrong twists and turns we found an area called DUMBO, (down under manhattan and brooklyn overpass) with some trendy fooderies and overpriced apartments. The main reason for going was to get the view of Manhatten from Brooklyn. And I ruined the photo!

We crossed the bridge and headed downtown via the WTC site. It is amazing the physical size that the towers occupied. After lunch we jumped on the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and got off on Ellis Island to see the Immigration museum.

The immigration museum was suprising fascinating. We made our way back to the mainland and thought about Saturday night. We booked in to a comedy club in the Chelsea region. The name of the club was "Gotham" with acts we have never heard of. But it turned out to be hilarious.

Sunday, we caught up with the NY public library and a few famous shops.

All in all, we did a lot, saw a lot, walked a lot, ate a lot! and enjoyed it alot.

P.S Tom we did miss you !

No longer our little baby...

2009-02-08T19:42:00.005Z

Here is Tom in his own chair and demonstrating his new found independent streak - feeding himself. Meal times are now very messy!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2009-02-08T19:40:00.004Z

Here is Tom enjoying the snow...or not. We don't think he liked his new wellies and couldn't really walk in them, so it was a brief trip to see next door's snowman and then into the backpack!

Watching history

2009-02-08T19:33:00.003Z

Here is Tom watching the inauguration of President Obama. Whilst the rest of the world watched on at this historic moment,Tom was probably wondering why, given it was 6pm and therefore time for 'In The Night Garden', Iggle Piggle was black.

Speaking of which, here he is in his little Iggle Piggle dressing gown. Wouldn't it be great if boxers had gowns like this??

And lastly in his grown up PJs! What a cutie.

Snowed-in in London

2009-02-02T08:17:00.002Z

We woke up this morning to the heaviest snow in 18 years ! Here are just a couple of photos from my phone at 7 am this morning.

This is the view from my front door.

This is the view down my road.

I just took this picture at 8.15 am . This is the view from the back of the lounge. I think the building work will stop today and that conservatory will have to wait !

Tom talks to the animals

2009-01-31T18:38:00.004Z

Today, Sat 31st Jan the Lands ventured to the Tropical Forest, inside Syon Park's grounds to see the animals. The displays themselves are varied and interested, if the building is not a bit dated. But, we were fortunate to be there for the show. The lead keeper and a couple of helpers introduced and then walked into the audiences with the creatures. Here are some of our photos.

Tom decided to go find his own kind.

Who do you think will win the staring competition?

Baby Tom versus the massive Baby Alligator. Mum looks calm here, but you should of seen her when they were bringing round the Tarantualas!

And on the way out Tom had to say goodbye to the Tortoise !

It was a good place to go for kids of all ages from Tom 1 1/4 yrs plus.

Link to the Tropical Forest in Syon Park, Brentford London >>

Natural History Museum

2009-01-24T22:54:00.003Z

Today Tom meet up with William who travelled all the way in from Essex.

This first picture was in the main entrance hall. I think he was more interested in hitting his mum on the head.

We dont think he realised how much danger he was in. Panto season has finished but a well timed "Look behind you!" wouldnt have gone a miss !

From the Jan cold snap

2009-01-24T22:47:00.002Z

Mid Jan it was a tad-cold. Master T seems to be enjoying his walk outside the house. Now we have to chase him down the road. He has tasted freedom !

Tom's first kick about in the park

2009-01-21T17:19:00.002Z

We will introduce him to the rugby ball very shortly !!

Our Little Waterbaby

2009-01-09T19:47:00.002Z

This was actually taken back in October, but we weren't able to post it as it formed the basis of some Christmas presents!

Christmas and all that stuff

2009-01-09T19:32:00.003Z

Here are a few photos of Thomas over the Christmas period. First up, a visit from Maxim to test out the trampoline.

Then some shots on Christmas Day - attempt 1 to pull the tree down and the telltale dribble round his mouth showing Nanna-Rose is spoiling him with Chocolate.

A future pop star and our hands? And with Auntie Kim at Grandmas.

Thomas's First Birthday!

2008-12-03T20:48:00.005Z

Tom celebrated his first birthday on 1st December. We had a lovely weekend at Nanna-Rose's, with both sets of grandparents, uncle Paul, auntie Claire and uncle Andrew and cousin Isla. We went to a soft play centre and then had a birthday tea where tom opened up his presents. Here he is at home with his play table - a present from grandma and grandad.

Here are some photos at the soft play centre - on a swing with uncle Paul, peeking through a tunnel and Isla.

Back at Nanna-Rose's Tom tucked into a birthday tea and opened his presents - a ride on rocket from mummy and daddy and a guitar from Nanna-Rose and Grandad.

Before taking a well earned rest from it all!

Nearly 1!

2008-11-26T21:27:00.002Z

Well, its been a while since we have posted any photos of Tom, who is now just a few days short of his first birthday. He has also just taken his first unassisted steps, so we presume he will be charging around the house before we know it. Here are some photos from the last few weeks!

Trying to escape from his highchair and playing with Daddy...

All wrapped out for the cold weather...and not happy about it!!
Last week we went The Enchanted Garden at Syon Park. This is where the gardens of Syon Park are lit up with fairy lights and it gave us an opportunity to test out Tom's backpack!

Holidaying in Majorca

2008-10-12T19:51:00.003+01:00

The Lands / Smiths / O'Higgins-es went en-masse to Majorca at the end of September. Tom was joined by his Nanna-Rose and Chiefy-Pops Land, Grandma and Grandad O'Higgins, and Auntie Claire, uncle Andrew and Cousin Isla Smith!

Here is enjoying splashing in the sea with Daddy.

Isla and Tom and the baby-version of Reservoir Dogs?!

Ever the water-baby

Enjoying the local seafood...

Playing by the pool

Buried in sand

Being spoilt by Nanna-Rose

Tom learning to walk

2008-10-12T19:48:00.004+01:00

Here is Tom taking his first steps with his baby walker, and getting his first pair of proper shoes (good old Clarks...)

Tom at 9 months

2008-09-04T20:31:00.003+01:00

Incredibly, Baby Tom is now 9 months old! He is spending 4 days a week in nursery, which thankfully he seems to enjoy, whilst Mummy re-enters the world of adult conversation and work! Here are some photos of him taken in the last couple of weeks, including a fine illustration by Uncle Paul of baby feeding!

Learning to Stand

2008-08-20T16:11:00.002+01:00

Here are two photos of Tom from this month - one with a very cheeky smile for Nanna Rose and Cousin Isla, and one showing everyone his new standing skills!

Our new garden

2008-08-20T16:07:00.006+01:00

We have finally got round to sorting out our garden so Baby Tom will have somewhere to run around next summer. Here it in 3 stages:

1) When we first moved in
2) As a big brown mess
3) How the new turf is looking after a good few days of sunshine, showers and sprinkler sessions!

Some summer photos of Tom

2008-08-04T08:34:00.003+01:00

An IT nerd on our hands?

2008-08-03T21:15:00.003+01:00

Thomas has developed an aptitude for anything electrical. He manages to bang the laptop until he (we presume) inadvertently turns it on, and makes a beeline for the DVD player as soon as he is set down on the floor. He also likes mobiles, remotes, cameras and calculators???

The secret Ireland player

2008-08-03T21:13:00.001+01:00

One hangover from the Ireland trip was Auntie's desire to see him in an Ireland shirt....needless to say, Daddy promptly dispatched Mummy off to the Twickenham shop so he also has a England one...

Tom's first trip abroad

2008-08-03T21:00:00.011+01:00

Baby Tom went on his first trip abroad at the end of July, to visit "Auntie" in Wicklow, Ireland.

Here he is at the airport (cleaning the floors) and trying to persuade Mummy to buy him one of those £20 raffle tickets to win a super car. Not sure what it was....but it was red.

"Auntie" is Tom's Great-Grandma's sole surviving sibling. She is Tom's Great-Great Auntie, Mummy's Great Auntie and Granddad's Auntie. Here are the 4 generations together.

The weather was lovely whilst we there and so Tom even got his first paddle in the sea. It was still a bit cold though and he did let out a girly scream...

Every days' a school day.....

2008-07-20T21:30:00.012+01:00

At 7 months Baby Tom is learning fast! Firstly, here he is demonstrating the stages of crawling:

1. Do a baby version of the 'caterpillar'

2. Get up on all fours and make a (preferably) forward motion

3. Decide it is all too much and take a well earned rest

And secondly here is learning the alphabet with Nanna Rose. He's very advanced don't you know.

Playing in the park

2008-07-16T19:51:00.002+01:00

Here is Tom (on the left) on the swings in the park with his little friend Stanley!

The womble of Wimbledon

2008-07-07T21:25:00.002+01:00

Hopefully memorising a few shots that will ensure Mummy and Daddy have a future Wimbledon Champion (and a comfortable retirement) on their hands!

Tom's Favourite Food

2008-07-07T21:23:00.002+01:00

Thomas is getting to grips with all types of food now. He particularly likes anything in cheese sauce, but even this doesn't compare to Mummy's phone.....

Biker Tom

2008-06-08T22:06:00.002+01:00

As Daddy has a new job and has to commute into Central London, he has decided to buy a scooter to cut down on traveling time. To prepare Tom for this, Uncle Greg came round so Tom could try his helmet on for size.

And on 7th June Daddy passed his CBT and bought his bike home!

Isla's Birthday

2008-06-08T22:04:00.002+01:00

On the 31st May it was the first birthday of Tom's cousin, Isla. Here he is enjoying himself in the garden at her party.

First Time Food

2008-06-08T22:02:00.004+01:00

It was a big week for Baby Tom, as the day after his Christening he tasted 'solids' (i.e. mush!) for the first time. He looked a bit shocked by it all...

Thomas's Christening

2008-06-08T21:57:00.005+01:00

On 18th May Tom was Christened at St Edmund of Canterbury RC Church in Whitton. Here is a photo of him being dunked!

And here is one of Tom with his Mum and Dad and his Godparents: Claire S, Charlotte, Paul and Steve

is Google going to suggest search terms

2008-05-23T14:41:00.006+01:00

This is a new feature which I have read rumours about. Basically in third place - Google is suggesting alternative search terms in a bid to aid users.

I havent been able to see it since ! any sightings?

I am such a proud father !

2008-05-21T14:20:00.001+01:00

I came home last night to find my son all kitted out, ball in hand and ready to hand off any challengers.

What a boy.....

My time in Austin Texas

2008-05-21T14:02:00.004+01:00

Last week I spent the week in Austin Texas for work. I only took a couple of photos after hours and here they are .....

The 'Dillo - I assume some free public transport. I kept seeing these meander around.

This was the location of my hotel

American cube hell - what you want to work in cubes. I think the EU open plan office is a far better way to work - what do you think?

The Team

My hire car was big, and very much underpowered. Plus, couldnt turn the lights off !

This is what I should have hired

Austin is the state capital (not CapitOl) of Texas and from many roads you can see their parliament building. Yep, its the small one in the middle.

Friday the 9th of May

2008-05-09T14:02:00.003+01:00

The new trick is to be on his front and not be scared ! This is what he looked like this morning.

Cottage Weekend

2008-05-05T21:03:00.005+01:00

In April 2008 we went to a cottage in Nottinghamshire with Claire's housemates from University. Whereas these used to be rather more raucous affairs, nowadays there are 6 children in tow. Here are some photos from the weekend.

Lauren and Chris feeding the horses on the farm

A photo of all the girls with their kids.

Sophie tucks in!

Adrian with Lucy

Andrew and Adrian on top of the landrover

Andrew taking aim at a clay pigeon

Just the one clay please!

Couldn't hit a thing but apparently had the 'best stance'.....

Under attack from the swans at Clumber Park

Some of my recent photos

2008-03-20T17:21:00.002Z

How to delete yourself from Facebook !

2008-03-17T15:40:00.002Z

There have been many articles in the news about Facebook and how difficult it is to remove your profile. You have to submit a form and wait. But at least you can .

So, here is a link ......

I have moved this article onto my professional SEO site - you can see that here.

Financial Services Authority website

2008-03-11T21:20:00.002Z

I heard an ad on the radio this morning for this site. It is a pet hate of mine that government departments make it hard to remember URLs. They always choose difficult names. So, I found this one, read some of the content and it is good. If you ever want any financial product explaining then read this.

FSA website >>

My inner Geek

2008-03-02T16:52:00.003Z

I was shown this video in a presentation the other day. This really brought out my inner geek. Maybe I am suited to my line of work !

Anyway - take a look at this video called "Web 2.0 ... The Machine is Us/ing Us" by Michael Wesch.

Well, what do you think?

Link to YouTube >>

Some of my recent favourite photos

2008-02-05T11:36:00.000Z

here Tom is relaxing with his Mum. Arhhh.

Here is the first outing of Dad with the sling !

Tom was learning to SING!

Tom is preparing to go out.

And, after a hard day, Tom is relaxing in the bath!

Who gives 100% ?

2008-01-23T17:44:00.000Z

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...
it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledgewill get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

2008-01-21T09:55:00.000Z

If only I had known ! !

Test 1
Women : To prepare for pregnancy, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months.
After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children, go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems:
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2.. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
3. Time allowed for this: 5 minutes.

Test 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door wagon..
And don't think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment and leave it there.
2. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
3. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6
Getting ready to go out :
1. Wait
2. Go out the front door
3. Come back in again
4. Go out
5. Come back in again
6. Go out again
7. Walk down the front path
8. Walk back up it
9. Walk down it again
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
15. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8
Go to the local supermarket.
Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child.
A full-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6.. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
7. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old child.

Test 10
Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls.
4. Cover the stains with crayon.
5. How does that look?

Test 12
Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly.
Important: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy - occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet if required. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13
Start talking to an adult of your choice.
Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14
Put on your finest work attire.
Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now:
1. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
2. Stir
3. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
4. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
5.. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
6. Do not change, you have no time.
7. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children, ENJOY!!

Some lame jokes !

2008-01-16T10:30:00.000Z

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?'I said, 'No, permanent.'

I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'

I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said,'You've got cholera.'

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?'
I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'

I phoned the local builders today; I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Robbie Williams.

More festive baby photos !

2008-01-03T17:15:00.000Z

Here are just some more photos from over the festive period.

This is tom in his first 'big boy' clothes.

Tom is looking up to his Cousin Isla.

Here is Isla sitting on her Chrimbo present from us.

Here are 3 generations of Land males all in one location.

Tom's first Christmas

2007-12-28T12:36:00.000Z

Christmas (like all years) co-insides with Grandads b'day. This year to celebrate he has the 'pleasure' of looking after his 2nd grandchild. And even managed a smile, as this photo proves !

Tom travelled up to the East Midlands to celebrate his first Chrismas with Grandma Dawn and Granddad Sean. He was suitable spoilt !

Here is Tom's before he opened his presents.

After a busy lunch, he found time to relax on his private Jungle !

Everybody needs a nap after a big Chrimbo lunch with all that Turkey.

The next step of the seasonal pilgrimage is to Northamptonshire for some pampering and playing with his Cousin.

Today is Tom's 3 week birthday!

2007-12-21T09:38:00.001Z

Time definately moves fast. Today is BabyTom's 3 week birthday. Here is a photo of him relaxing last night.

Tom's life day 13

2007-12-13T17:04:00.001Z

Tom is now 13 days old. And he has already put up a Christmas tree which is impressive between sleeping, crying and filling nappies!

Tom took time out in his busy schedule to relax in the tub.

Before making some executive decisions in his bouncy chair!

Day 11 of Tom's life

2007-12-11T17:36:00.000Z

We almost cant believe how quick time is flying by.
Tom is different every day and we can see that his personality is coming through.

Here are just a couple more photos from the last week.

Day 2, 3 and 4 of Tom's life

2007-12-04T15:45:00.000Z

Since we have been home, it has been manic. We have had many visitors and nappies to change. Here are just a couple more photos from the other cameras. We haven't taken many photos are home really. To busy making the memories at this stage.

More will come.

Day 3, just hanging around.

Tom is getting ready for Christmas

Another photo from the hospital, just after birth. Tom was in the 'heating tray' in the labour room.

It was hard , so we had a kip when we got home !

Here are the happy / scared ! grandparents on the day Tom arrived home.

Thank you all for your cards, flowers, texts, emails and phone calls. Its all a bit overwhelming at the moment, but we will get to each and every one of them shortly.

Lots of love from Claire, Adrian & Baby Tom.

Please welcome Thomas to the Land family

2007-12-01T21:47:00.000Z

The little monkey kept us waiting for 4 days post due date. We were getting bored and restless!

After what the midwives called a very rapid delivery of 3 and a half hours ! (from first contraction to birth) all are well. The team at the West Middlesex Hospital did a great job.

Here are some of the first photographs.

Thomas joined us on the 1st December at 5.29am. Weighing in at 6lb 14oz or 3.12kg.

The teddy photo is my favourite to-date

Our first visitors - Granddad and Grandma O'Higgins.

There are just a few photos taken on my mobile.

Claire's mobile and our proper SLR will come shortly.

Thank you all for your kind messages.

Where is our baby?

2007-11-30T09:10:00.000Z

We are now Due Date + 3.

Bored

Bored.

Our House is finally finished

2007-11-19T22:15:00.000Z

I am pleased to say, that our house is finally finished.

At the weekend we had the parquet floor finished and the fireplace finished. This means that every room is now finished, just in time for BabyLand to turn up. Only 8 days to go til the due date!!!!

How does google get info for its image search?

2007-10-26T13:28:00.000+01:00

If you have a few minutes to waste then here is a place to do that!

Google Image Labeler >>

Rugby World Cup - our holiday

2007-09-28T12:31:00.001+01:00

Here are some photos from the trip to France to see the rugby world cup.

We traveled over to France on the Eurostar and moved in to our delightful Parisien hotel right next to the Gare du Nord. On Friday the other match goes arrived and we prepared ourselves with a pre game warm up !

At this stage we were still happy and excited about the England Versus South Africa game.

The wife and I ready for the game. The Stade de France is an amazing stadium.
We were given the flag the second before by a Bok fan - its not ours!

Here are some photos of the stadium.

An interesting shop name

2007-09-28T12:28:00.001+01:00

While wandering around Paris we saw this shop. Just thought this shop had an interesting name.

What do you think?

Would you buy your kid an AK47?

2007-09-28T12:24:00.000+01:00

While in France on holiday, in a sleepy little town we came across a kids toy shop. And to our surprise they were selling toy guns! We assume they are toys!

Tenby, South Wales - an excellent beach resort

2007-09-11T09:00:00.001+01:00

.... I never thought of holidaying in South Wales would be so good.

Four of us went down after work on a Thursday and spent the long Bank Holiday weekend there. Our cottage was in a great location just off of South Beach.

Here is a photo of the harbour. Looking overcast - but all four days were brilliant sunshine and hot!

Tenby is so famous it has a Wiki entry ! On the Saturday three of us went out on jet bikes. It was a safari tour around an off shore island. It was a great opportunity to test these powerful machines, oh and see some seals !

And not to be left our - 'little monkey' saw some beach action too!

When you need a barbeque you need the right tools - Steve flirting with the sun with his favoured method of transport!

Aswell as the beach we went on some great walks down the Pembrokeshire Coast Path, and we had lunch one day on top of Giltar points (not sure of the spelling). From this vantage point we could see the island with the monestry, passing boats, jetbikers and rock climbers; plus a fair few walkers. We were more content with drinking wine and relaxing.

But no beach holiday would be complete with out a beach fire.

I was really impressed with Tenby. The beach was clean, big and space available. The people lovely and not full of tourists. Reasonably priced and everything was walkable. The pedestrianised town centre made it all the better.

Bring on Wales.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

2007-08-31T11:19:00.000+01:00

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying: 'don't throw the baby out with the bath water'.

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs etc) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying: 'it's raining cats and dogs'.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying: 'dirt poor'.

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying: a threshold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: 'peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old'.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could 'bring home the bacon'. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and 'chew the fat'.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of 'holding a wake'.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

Now, whoever said history was boring?

Marble Hill Picnic Concert - starring Berlinda Carlisle

2007-08-22T10:06:00.000+01:00

On Saturday we endured the rain and went to Marble Hill, Twickenham. It was a picnic concert organised by English Heritage. There were 4 acts. Bananarama opening, with 2 of the 3 members. They enjoyed themselves - maybe a sound check first?? The second act was strange. It was Altered Images. Scary to say the least.
We missed the final act - Midure because we went home - we were soaked and cold.
But the 3rd act was great. I was very impressed - suprisingly so.
Anyway here are a couple of photos.

The advantages of being a man!

2007-08-15T16:33:00.000+01:00

Being a man definitely has its perks...

1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress £2000; TDJ rental £100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a bottle.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day holiday requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is £10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your friends for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No sanitary products are needed.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

Bathroom is still being built !

2007-07-31T09:08:00.000+01:00

We are now 6 days into the 10? day project.

To date they have stripped all the wall, bonded and skimmed them.
Done the electrics
Installed a new floorr
Installed the bath with taps and plumbing
Built the stud wall and put the shower in place
Installed the heated towel rail
Installed the sink and taps

To do.

Finish the shower
Install the shower screen
Tile part of the room
Fit the lighting and fixtures.

Hopefully finished by this Friday?

Chances??

the final room has been started !!!

2007-07-24T16:45:00.001+01:00

The final room in our house to be renovated has started. Monday the 23rd the guys pulled out the horrible gold previous suite! And here are the pictures at the beginning of day two! Lovely, isn't it. The builder asked if it was a DIY job!

Windsor

2007-07-23T12:39:00.000+01:00

We were in Windsor at the weekend celebrating our first wedding anniversary.

We visited the castle as you would expect. It was actually very good. You can see the official information here >>

Claire was sharing the audio tour with the little one - never too early to start the education?

A view of the castle on the way up to state rooms and the dolls house.

We ordered a luxury room and we definately got more than the normal hotel room. To start with we had our own garden which was overlooking the river. Here are some shots.

To the left
From our balcany - this is the main bridge. On the other side of the water is Eaton. We went to the school. And then walked back !

You can see the hotels site here>>

We ate at the Stroks restaurant, it was very good. We would recemend you make a visit.

Monkey transport

2007-07-23T12:30:00.001+01:00

In preparation of Project Monkey's arrival we have gone out and bought his/her their own chariot.

We have gone for a Scenic ! I know you may think a family option. I have been practising my excuses of why this is still sporty and cool !

Its more powerful than my old golf!
It doesnt need a key! to open or to start the engine.
To start / stop the engine there is a button!
Alloy wheels and electric everything inc AC.
Automatic lights and wipers etc.
Front fogs and wingmirrors that fold in at the touch of a button.
And if you walk away, it closes all the windows, roof and locks itself !
Almost cool?
Plus the wife like it.

We get in this Saturday and then can drive round - I will work on my cool line. :-)

Baby Land at 21 weeks

2007-07-17T10:47:00.000+01:00

This morning we went to the West Middlesex for our 21 week scan.

Here are some of the photos. Once again they never do the scan justice. I just wish we could get a copy of the screen in video it is some much more detailed.

We were amazed at how much attention and detail they went through. They looked at everything from parts of the brain down to a full examination of the heart and everything in between.

It is all GOOD.

Onto the photos....

A split picture - both feet

A close up of the head, with left hand in the background.

An overview shot. Crown to Rump was 17cm.

And a scary shot! I have rotated this picture as BabyLand is looking straight at you!!!!

Wimbledon

2007-07-10T14:39:00.000+01:00

Last week we went to Wimbledon. The morning was good. We saw the whole of the Hewitt game, drank beer, ate overpriced fish'n'chips and watched some tennis.

Then after lunch - it rained and it rained hard. Here is the view from the top of centre court.

Some defiant people sat out with umbrellas hoping for a break in the rain.

Next big gadget to come to the UK!

2007-07-01T18:03:00.000+01:00

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBoob will cost between £499 and £599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men just staring at their breasts and not listening to them!

Ascot

2007-06-26T17:01:00.000+01:00

We were at Ascot races at the weekend. Did you see the pictures in the papers. It was raining so hard at points it was comedy. The ground was mud and the average bloke was up to his ankles in mud - and the ladies - many bare foot with dress being held up - hillarious!

It was still smiles on the way to the course.

In the brief spells of brilliant sunshine (and sunburn) we did select some winners - unfortunely not on the races we put money on!

Here are some debut photos of Claire and Mark - the others involved in this day out.

Maybe we will have more luck next year?

Best practice guides for Meta Data & H1's

2007-06-21T10:09:00.001+01:00

moved to adrianland.co.uk

Site of the day!

2007-06-20T15:01:00.000+01:00

Site of the day - check this out
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

For England >>

For France >>