A break up letter !

Dear Audrey:
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, Iswore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boyin metalking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. Iguess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot ofthings. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care aboutlooking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this iswhat my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they'renot you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl atFlamingoesand brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just toillustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with oneof those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?

But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in thiscase, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.

I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossedher about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why doI feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or herslutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling ofloss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean?

Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Pontins last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagne. She said she figured Iwasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses ofwine and the next thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. Andthis tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, youknow like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.

And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause Ican't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor?We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sexaid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. Imean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on hershoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.she's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is.

So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that gets meto thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and howthat probably fueled some of the bitterness between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister'scinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it.

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances andstart fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please please please letme know, otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is?

John

Todays joke

A traffic warden approached a man parking his car.

"You can't park there, that's a disabled bay"

He said "But I am disabled"

The warden replied "Really, what with?"

"Fucking Tourettes you cunt," replied the man.

"Now piss off."

Causes of duplicate content

I was trying to list out all the causes of duplicate content - well accidential duplication.

Here is the list to date

• Inconsistent URLs and links, especially search results
  
• Similar products or bundles of products with similar description
• this can be on your sites of resellers
• Print friendly pages inc. white papers, pdf downloads.
• DNS errors ie. no http:// to http://www etc or https !
• Content management systems who use session cookies in urls
  

These all produce Errors - and effectively your are 'pissing in your own pool'. And risk getting duplicate content penalties - even though - you probably don't realise you have done it.

As I resolve more here - I will add to this list - send me more if you have them !

Fireworks - Brockwell Park, South London

On Friday night (3rd Nov) we wandered down to Brockwell Park, London, SE24 to see the Lambeth fireworks.

The display was good but short and then ended up with the locals toasting Guy Fawlkes in the local tavern.

Thsi is the only photo that came out ! If you have any more - send them to me and I will post them.